Musical Dinosaurs

I'm not referring to your dad's dodgy record collection or a jurassic party game, instead an event happening this very Saturday evening! If you pop along to Audio at 7pm, you'll be in for a treat as our T-Wrecks have organised a fundraising gig featuring Glaswegian nine-piece ska collective Esperanza, The Superlatives and solo acoustic punk Jonzip. For more info and ticket details, go here.

And if you're free earlier in the day why not come along for some more tense home teams action as last year's overall winners the Bad Omens take on the Death Stars to see who will get through to the Home Teams Season Final in November!  Check out our website for more details and to see the package deal we have for game+gig tickets!

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Queeriosity & The Return Of The Human Pyramid

A few Saturdays ago, Glasgow was filled with rainbows. It wasn't a leprechaun infestation or an unfortunate incident in a paint factory - it was Pride! GRD played host to two games of roller derby: a mixed teams game (Magic vs Science) & Soy Division vs Vagine Regime UK. For those not in the know, VR are a pick-up team made up of LGBTQ people from across the country and so it seemed appropriate they come out to play on that particular weekend.

Human pyramid, obvs. 

Human pyramid, obvs. 

After two quality roller derby games (game report here for those interested), everyone stripped off the safety gear, applied liberal amounts of glitter and got down to some serious partying at Queeriosity. Naturally, there was a human pyramid because why not? If you ever get the chance, you should ask our Sadie O'Hades for her top facts about human pyramids because she seems to know more than most.

Queeriosity is GRD's own club night, hosted at Garnethill Multicultural Centre. The brainchild of one of our skaters, Haberbashery, it's a fun, inclusive night out which also helps to raise funds for the league so we can keep doing what we do and put on more events as well.

Want to have as much fun as these guys? Come along next time & join in! 

Want to have as much fun as these guys? Come along next time & join in! 

If having a lovely time sounds like your kind of thing, keep an eye out for the next one which will be at the end of October for Halloween-based awesomeness.

GRR / LEAP Festival Fortnight

On a Tuesday evening way back at the start of June one of our referees, Feminist Killjoy, ran a special training session for GRR as part of the LEAP Festival Fortnight.

Our rookie skaters learning more about actual gameplay from self-confessed roller derby geek, Feminist Killjoy.

Our rookie skaters learning more about actual gameplay from self-confessed roller derby geek, Feminist Killjoy.

FK has been skating with GRD since 2013 and also works for LEAP Sports Scotland, whose mission is to break down the barriers preventing LGBTI people from participating in and excelling at sports. Every June, they organise the Festival Fortnight during which sports clubs across the country are invited to take part by running a taster session/quiz/film night etc.

Equality and promoting roller derby sounded right up our street, so when FK offered to open up a GRR session to the public as part of the event, we were all over it! And GRR were in for an absolute treat, with Feminist Killjoy giving them a masterclass in roller derby rules and tactics, allowing them to see where the basic skating skills they'd been learning in isolation would fit into the game as a whole.  

The introduction of the sock derby section of the event also coincided with the gun show, apparently. 

The introduction of the sock derby section of the event also coincided with the gun show, apparently. 

To get involved in GRD, check out our website for more information and if you want to know more about the excellent work of LEAP Sports Scotland then their website is also full of useful information. 

Game Report: Grrders graft against Granite

Penny Pinch'er getting low to take out the Smiling Assassin.Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy of Boutday.com

Penny Pinch'er getting low to take out the Smiling Assassin.
Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy of Boutday.com

On Saturday 27th August our beloved Maiden Grrders travelled up to Aberdeen to take on Granite City Roller Derby's A Team, the Northern Fights. As the first away game with the current roster we were keen to put our best skates forward and test our mettle against the awesome talents of the Fights. Our friends at Scottish Roller Derby recently interviewed some of GCRD in the lead up to the game to hear all about their progress in what has been a busy year for the northern team, which you can catch up on here. As mentioned in the blog it has been three years since the two teams faced off against one other and a lot has changed for both leagues. While the Maidens have been doing some restructuring recently the Fights have been building on rock solid foundations and let me tell you, it really showed! 

The afternoon was a double header starting with GCRD's Fight Hawks playing against a mixed team going by the name of the Black Mambas. The Mambas featured guest skaters from Mean City RD, Doonhame Derby Dolls and Ayrshire Roller Derby, many of whom would be familiar to anyone who caught the Magic vs Science game in Glasgow last week!

Final score: Fight Hawks 253 - 152 Black Mambas.

The start of the second game was slightly delayed due to an injury in the last jam of the previous match. Unfortunately Firefoxx of Doonhame Derby Dolls took a nasty fall in which both her ankle and head were hurt and so all precautions were taken by the excellent EMTs and Officials to make sure she was properly taken care of before play resumed in the hall. GRD send our love and good thoughts to Firefoxx and all of Doonhame. It's really tough when accidents happen in roller derby and we all wish her a speedy recovery! 

It wasn't long before our Maidens took to the track to face up against the Northern Fights. Granite's Rock N Riot took lead jammer status soon after the first whistle and the Maidens had to hustle hard to try to regain some ground. A few power jams early on gave Glasgow a chance to claim back an advantage but the Fights walls were formidable and held strong against the Maidens' offence.

Despite the tough opponents Glasgow kept their heads up and rallied again and again, but it just wasn't enough to hold off the strength of the Fights' jammers. We dealt blows but they absorbed them all and hopped, skipped and jumped right along the track boundaries to rack up the points with some particularly fancy footwork from Clinically Wasted and Udder Mayhem. 

Udder Mayhem showing off some awesome balance mid-jamPhoto courtesy of Dave McAleavy of Boutday.com

Udder Mayhem showing off some awesome balance mid-jam
Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy of Boutday.com

Glasgow jammers Spin Diesel and Bruise Missile were both successful in getting lead jammer status in the first half,  making tactical calls that shut down the opposition before they could score. Our walls were pulling together and offence going in hard, but by the half time whistle Granite held a convincing lead.

Half time: GCRD 212 - 34 GRD

The Maidens were down but not out! With a commanding pep talk from Captain Penny Pinch'er the Maidens returned to track in good spirits all ready to roll.

The second half was well underway and it seemed that the Maidens had found their feet with more offence being dealt and more tactics being deployed. There was some great chasing at the front of the pack from Raptor and beautiful blocks from Penny, as well as new Maiden jammer Fury L Spark giving everything she had to try to break through the opposing blockers. We fought hard in every jam but the Fights were relentless and their points rained down on that sunny afternoon.

Final score: GCRD 463 - 61 GRD

Northern Fights Best Blocker: Clinically Wasted
Northern Fights Best Jammer: Udder Mayhem
Northern Fights MVP: Kami-Tazzy

Maiden Grrders Best Blocker: Sadie O'Hades
Maiden Grrders Best Jammer: Spin Diesel
Maiden Grrders MVP: Bruise Missile

In a recent game report I wrote about how no matter what happens on track - especially in a country as small as Scotland - other leagues become like family and we can be pleased for our opponents. The same can be said about the Maidens defeat in Granite City. We took a thorough beating but our spirits were not broken; we made the Fights work for their scoring passes and are proud of ourselves for playing against such a tough team. Even more so we were impressed by the level of gameplay that the Northern Fights brought to the game and are proud of them for the amazing progress they've made over the past few years. When our competitors up their game it raises the level of play across the country. We learned a lot from Granite this weekend and are really excited to get back into training to put some of those lessons to good use! 

We'd like to thank Granite City Roller Derby for inviting us to play, and the Fight Hawks, Black Mambas and Northern Fights for two excellent games of roller derby. We'd also like to thank all their events staff, EMTs, announcers, and of course Mr Dave McAleavy of Boutday.com for the amazing chronicling of events through his brilliant photography. 

Hard as nails. GCRD Northern Fights and GRD Maiden Grrders.Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, Boutday.com

Hard as nails. GCRD Northern Fights and GRD Maiden Grrders.
Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, Boutday.com

If all this talk of competition and camaraderie is warming the cockles of your heart then you won't want to miss our next display of healthy sportspersonship at our second Home Teams game of the season! Join us on the 24th of September to see reigning champs the Bad Omens take on the Death Stars as they face off for a place in the final. Tickets are cheaper in advance and you can also get a special offer on a combo for game and our fundraising gig on the same night for a mere £9! 

Game Report: Winterfell WItches vs Quantum Leap & Vagine Regime vs Soy Division

We've been a bit quiet on the game front since our league summer break and that ill-fated day in Edinburgh, but never fear for this Saturday GRD played host to not one but two wonderful games of roller derby. I'm even going to tell you about them!

First of all, however, you should know that this Saturday, the Maiden Grrders will be up in Aberdeen to take on Tier 4 North champions, Granite City Roller Derby's Northern Fights. For more information, check out the Facebook event. We'd love to see you there! And if you can't make that, check out our Events Calendar for an upcoming Irn Bruisers game in Newcastle, the continuation of our Home Teams Season and a wee musical fundraiser featuring that tiny blur on rollerskates, Jess E Ska.

Poster for the Pride weekend doubleheader, photo courtesy of Claire Brand.

Poster for the Pride weekend doubleheader, photo courtesy of Claire Brand.

Game 1: Quantum Leap (Team Science) vs Winterfell Witches (Team Magic/fantasy)

Since ancient times there has been tension between the rational, enlightened forces of science and the mysterious, otherworldly powers of magic. What better way to figure out who's right than a game of roller derby? Featuring mixed-level skaters from GRD, Auld Reekie Roller Girls, Ayrshire Roller Derby, Doonhame Roller Derby, and Mean City Roller Derby, including some newbies (here's looking at you, Fock Her, Fury L Spark and Poe Slameron!), we took to quad skates to decide the matter once and for all.

Wands were drawn, test tubes rattled and we were soon under way with not much to tell between the fantastical creatures and number-crunching boffins for the first few jams. Soon, however, either the fumes or some fairy curse must have got to our trusty nerds and the wizarding wonders started to pull ahead. By half time the score was 158-62 in favour of the magicians.

The white-coated wonders reapplied their safety goggles while the wily witches brought out their brooms and the whistle denoting the start of the second half was blown. Everyone's favourite defenders of reason fought valiantly FOR SCIENCE! but their devilish opponents were just as determined. Ultimately the Westerosi gave Quantum Leap's geeks a massive wedgie and stole their dinner money (which, given the usual consequence of failure in Westeros, means they got off lightly tbh).

Scientists Stargrazer & Bambo taking on the magical Jess Little. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Scientists Stargrazer & Bambo taking on the magical Jess Little. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Final score: Quantum Leap 121 - 319 Winterfell Witches

So it would appear that Santa is real, the Easter Bunny exists and all that nonsense about quantum physics was dreamed up by some bored lab techs after ingesting too much of something mind-altering.

Awards:

Quantum Leap
Best Blocker: Velosidy 16
Best Jammer: Fury L Spark 64
MVP: Fury Eyes Only 007

Winterfell Witches
Best Blocker: Sadie O'Hades 311
Best Jammer: Hardcore 24
MVP: Jess Little 7

Game 2: Vagine Regime vs Soy Division

Rumour has it that there was a rainbow in Glasgow on Saturday, and its end was at the ARC sports centre. It's either that or we had Vagine Regime to visit on the day of the Glasgow Pride march and they brought the most spectacular multi-coloured helmet covers you ever did see, in an attempt to dazzle their plant-powered opponents, Soy Division.

It was also lovely to see and hear the fantastic Jeneral Strike and her new bionic limb, as one half of a formidable announcing partnership with fellow Irn Bruiser Siobhan Sinclair.

In the first jam, Vagine Regime's captain Inky Minx showed that she meant business and took lead jammer status, calling it for four points. Sarah McMillan for Soy made it out of the pack first in the following jam but a no pass/no penalty call allowed VR's Hoots to become lead and she took full advantage, with the score 12-8 in VR's favour by the time she called it. Both teams experimented with their tactics to find their opponent's weaknesses, with some lovely offence off the jam line from VR. The third jam saw SD pull ahead due to a power jam, with Hazzard jamming to end it 16-17 to Soy.

Wrath and Rosie Peacock with their eyes on the prize while Sarah McMIllan sneaks by for some offense. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Wrath and Rosie Peacock with their eyes on the prize while Sarah McMIllan sneaks by for some offense. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Unfortunately, an illegal star pass saw Phoenix sent to the penalty box for SD at the end of the following jam and VR's Catashtrophe capitalised, pulling ahead to end the fifth jam 55-17 to VR. Soy fought back hard, with some tactical calls to reduce the damage from VR and some lovely defensive walls including a powerful Phoenix/Collie combo that troubled Catashtrophe for some time.

Some really strong jamming from VR mixed with powerful blocking allowed them to pull ahead further across the first half, though that isn't to say that Soy were passive. A cracking apex jump from Soy's captain Sable, while VR's Rosie Peacock watched wistfully from the penalty box, made the audience sit up and pay attention but the points just kept coming for our en-rainbowed guests. Each team called for an official review but not even Soy's upheld review was able to turn the tide for them.

Despite some clever play, VR stretched out their lead over the first half, ending it 141-56 to VR.

Pumped up on kale and equal rights respectively, Soy and VR meant business in the first jam of the second half. With Catashtrophe jamming for VR and Postlewaight for Soy, Rosie Peacock saw the opportunity for a punishing offense and pulled the Soy jammer back, meanwhile Inky Minx did some good work to let her jammer sail past the opposition. The jam ended with Catashtrophe racking up an impressive 31 points, leaving it at 172-56.

VR kept the pressure on and pulled further ahead. By the end of the twelfth jam, which saw Sarah McMillan take lead jammer over Rosie Peacock with some lovely footwork up the outside line, the score stood at 193-78 with Soy's chances of clawing it back disappearing by the moment. At this point, VR called a team timeout which gave everyone a chance to collect their thoughts.

Clearly whatever was said to VR during the timeout did the trick and they became even more dominant. During jam 14, Catashtrophe managed to score an impressive 44 points surely pulling VR into an insurmountable lead with 241 points to Soy's 79. In jam 18, Soy managed to break the 100-point barrier with a Sarah McMillan jam featuring an apex jump described by the announcers as 'beautiful'.

Not to be outdone, VR send Rosie Peacock on in the very next jam in which she is noted to perform some interpretive dance before a huge hit and recycle to wear down the jammer, Sable. Presumably confused as to whether she was actually playing roller derby or featuring in some avant garde Fringe show, Sable passed the panty to Sylk but the jam came to an end almost immediately with the score 258-104.

In jam 23, the last of the game, Sable and Catashtrophe line up together behind the jam line once more. Catashtrophe plays a bit of fifth blocker to hold the Soy jammer at bay while giving time for the two VR blockers to get out of the penalty box, and then she disappears into the distance with a magnificent backwards spin through the pack. She makes it look easy, breeazing past some really brilliant defence and at the final whistle Vagine Regime's victory is confirmed.

Final score: Vagine Regime 291 - 108 Soy Division

A veritable rainbow of officials, both on- and off-skates. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

A veritable rainbow of officials, both on- and off-skates. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

If you were in attendance you may have noticed something a little unusual about our referees and NSOs (more than normal, I mean). For one day only our zebras and flamingoes eschewed their standard colours and went more than a little bit rainbow in honour of Pride - and they looked fantastic! Thanks, as always, to every single one of them as without them these games couldn't happen.

Awards:

Vagine Regime
Best Blocker: Slappedash 190
Best Jammer: Catashtrophe 663
MVP: Rosie Peacock 50

Soy Division
Best Blocker: Drama Bomb 000
Best Jammer: Sarah McMillan 7
MVP: Sable v20

I would also like to thank everyone who came along to give us their support, all of our volunteers whose hard work made the day run smoothly and the EMTs who are always on hand with a smile and some expert first aid skills as needed.